Presence
Hey…
Just now you sent me an email. You’ve written down all of your feelings. So honest, so simple. Lucky him who owns your heart. I immediately wanted to give you a hug. I know it won’t be enough, I know I’m not the one you want. But hey, I wanted to give it to you anyway. And I just wanted to stay by your side, each and every step. I’m not making sure you get out of this mess unhurt. I’m here so that I can experience it with you. Because that’s where I want to be: at your side.
That’s my present for you: my presence
Busy Busy Busy…
Hey…
Thanks for the message you sent me this morning.
Thanks for the warm welcome everytime we meet in cyberspace.
Even though honestly I wanted more, but thanks 
You were just talking about how hectic your life was (or still is, at the moment). I wish I could do something about it, to untangle your life’s threads. But I feel like I don’t know anything about your world. I feel so useless! I know it’s a bit too much if I wanted to be more involved in your everyday life. We’re physically 60 km apart each day, and being online everyday isn’t going to make your life any easier. But…can’t I take a deeper look at your routines? Can’t I at least try to understand how hard it is being you? I really appreciate it when you dig up a few minutes out of your pile of itinerary, just to welcome me, make me a cup of coffee, and joke around with your little brother and sister. I really do. But I wish I could do more than just sit around and watch you work, or worse, imagine you work…
This heart of mine is just about to burst. But I’ll just have to keep it together, for you…
Damn, I miss you!
Lovable
karna kamu so lovable, buat aku…
Hey…
Just a few days ago you asked me, “am I so unloveable that he can’t stay in love with me?”
Stupid question.
If you’re that unloveable, then what the heck am I doing here waiting for you and making a complete fool out of myself in front of you every once in a while?
Let me try that tune again, this time in full English…
‘Cause you’re just so lovable, I can’t help it…
‘Cause you’re just so lovable, I can’t stop it…
Adit and The Coffee Theory… hahaha…
There’s a whole lot more of me you’ve never seen before, and there’s a whole lot of love for you hidden inside of me. Damn, you’re so lovable…
PS: The correct spelling according to www.dictionary.com is “lovable”, not “loveable”
Stupid or Idiot
Hey…
It’s been a while. Well, I thought you were busy and everything. You had your dream job and your dream boy, so I thought I’d just step aside…
But then it all happened. Honestly, I really didn’t know how to react. A part of me hurt because I knew you’re hurting. But another part of me actually thought I might have another chance. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t really know, but if it does I wish it would stop…
Just now you sent a message to me saying how you missed him. I know I should have had empathy for you, but the moment I read your message I felt like someone just stabbed me. I’m sorry. I’m just…broken.
Every time you call me “bro”, it just stings. It’s like a fence you put around yourself so that I don’t go any closer. But maybe it’s the right thing for you to do, because when all of my heart wants to show itself, I won’t be able to hold back.
All this time you were saying how stupid you are when you decided to wait for him. Well then, I guess I’m an idiot.
If only you knew how I really felt about you…
