Officially Expelled
Two days ago, I was officially expelled from my college. After six years of my infinite loyalty to my alma mater, they still kick me out. Lucky for me I still have a few really good friends with whom I was very happy to share that once-in-a-lifetime moment. Thanks for coming girls (and a guy), without you my graduation would’ve been just another meaningless picture.
I’d like to express my special thanks to Ajeng, who came all the way to see me on my graduation, while I didn’t come to her graduation when she asked me to. I owe you big time, my friend.
For Gunawan, come on, when are you going to catch up with me?
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- We’ve finally made it! Hogwarts is saved!
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- Left-to-Right: Ajeng, Noni, me, Gunawan
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- Left-to-Right: Gunawan. Noni, Ajeng, me
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- Condro and me pose in front of a piano
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- The Electrical Engineering Graduates of August 2008
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- Top-to-Bottom: Rendy, Condro, me
Dinner @ 7
Yup, last night I had a dinner with a new friend. Actually, we’ve only met three times, including last night. But I was getting more and more interested. We talked about a lot of things and I found out a whole lot about her, her life, and her family. She’s quite a unique person, and I’m looking forward to knowing more. I really hope this is the last time I have to risk a heart wound, but it all comes back to God…
First Week
My first week was all messy. Here we go…
Day 1
I was 10 minutes late. I didn’t write my time on my attendance sheet. My first assignment was learning about JAVA and every other little things that my team uses for their project. I was assigned to a rather large project. Assignees included one Systems Analyst and two Programmers (me included). The other two analysts and about 3 or 4 programmers were assigned to a larger project. Day one was all about learning: the procedures, the flow, the standards.
Day 2
Being 5 to 10 minutes is already common. No harm done. I spent the first half of the day trying this and that, mostly digging in on the interface’s coding. The second half was a disaster. My PC broke down and restarted four times in a row. I confiscated my friend’s MacBook and found immediately that it was not prepped for development. So much for a second day at work…
Day 3
By the third day, things were getting on track again. I learned a whole lot of new stuff. The framework, the systems, the IDE. But progress was sluggish. I didn’t know where to find what, and I kept bugging my fellow programmer. I could tell that he was really frustrated by his deadline, and the fact that he’s a single fighter in the project held me back when I wanted to ask him for help.
Day 4
Thursday was a relatively slow day. I learned the code piece-by-piece and soon figured out that the framework itself is still so messy. I still had a hard time finding what I needed, and googling was my best escape. This was the day that I did my first commit to the server. Nothing big really, just a few minor interface fixes, a new controller and listener, and some other stuff not worth mentioning.
Day 5
As the interface came together, I totally shifted my attention to the logic. I struggled to find pieces of code that were responsible for fetching data, processing, and then displaying them. I found out that just to add a single query to the framework, I needed to edit at least 4 to 5 class files. But I forced myself to get used to it. I’m gonna be here for a long time…
Day 6
The mood was changing as I approached a long weekend with new hopes. But I was still overwhelmed with the wealth of things that I needed to understand before I start making real progress. My boss already stuffed a deadline on me, and I had to finish my screen by next Tuesday. I guess he expected me to work at home, but I’m not going to. Home is for fun, not work. I’ll just see what happens next…
Dive into Java!
Yesterday was a rare moment for me and my friends at campus, as so many of us from out of town came home to one of our friend’s wedding. Everybody was asking about where I’m going and what I’m going to do, and each time I answered they would tell me how lucky I am.
One of my best friends told me once that choosing a career path is one of the three biggest decisions that a person has to make (FYI, the other two are choosing your faith and choosing your spouse). I decided to apply for this job because I wasn’t aiming to be rich. I aimed to stay close to my hometown and my family. Not because then I could beg and whine every time I got into something I can’t handle, but because the fact that my entire extended family is already some place else is bugging me.
Well then, this job is a perfect one for me (for now, I haven’t really done it yet). It’s close to home (about 50 minutes away by train), it’s something I like to do (I’m an ISTJ — check my personality profile — and ISTJs are supposed to be programmers), and it pays good money (I’m sorry, but I’m not disclosing my first pay). Furthermore, I have 4 friends that are already there, and they will surely be a great help to me — not professionally, but as campus friends when we’re having lunch together or hanging around after hours.
Tomorrow (yes, tomorrow!) I will officially be a Java programmer. This is something I have never done before. I know Javascript, but not Java itself. I know Macromedia Dreamweaver for editing all sorts of web-related source codes, but I haven’t had time to explore Java IDE itself: NetBeans. However, I have every confidence in myself that I will be able to learn.
Well, my vacation ends today, and tomorrow I’m off to a whole new adventure! Yippie kai ye!
Crisis of Confidence
These past few days I’ve been having a crisis of confidence. I don’t really know what struck me, but I’ve been making so many silly mistakes that I normally wouldn’t do. I stutter, I tremble, and I get really anxious. I unconsciously spend most of my brain’s capability thinking about the same thing all day. I become really childish that I sometimes resent myself. This is not me. This is definitely not me!
My buddy Condro has first-hand experience on my behavior. He’s the one that I kept dragging here and there asking ridiculously silly questions over and over again. I kept forcing him to discuss things that I normally wouldn’t lay a finger on. This is really stupid, and I’m dragging my pal into this stupidity act.
It’s not about my new job. It’s not about my graduation ceremony. It’s not about something, it’s about someone. I know this for a fact. But I haven’t been feeling this way for a very long time. I’m a nervous wreck! It has been a very long time since someone managed to make an idiot out of me without doing a single thing. It’s killing me!
Dear Lord, please help me. I know what I’m dealing with, but I don’t really know how best to deal with it. If this is the path You have set for me, then I trust You will show me how to walk it. But please, let me in on some more clues. What should I do next? How do I deal with this amazing feeling?
I am really clueless… Please give me some peace of mind and heart…
Congrats on The Wedding
I spent July’s last weekend in Jakarta, attending my cousin’s wedding. It was one of those rare moments when you get to see your entire extended family, all in one place. We even spent two nights under the same roof, a total of about 15 people, excluding my dad’s oldest brother’s family.
My grandpa has a total of 5 children. My dad’s right in the middle, number 3. Here’s the roster: Pakdhe Untung, Budhe Nurasih, Pakde Pri, Budhe Yayuk, Mas Danis, Mas Akso, Mbak Prima, my dad, my mom, me, Kike (my sister), Uncle Ralph, Tante Utami, Anna, Dini, Tante Dani, Icis, Ika, Riza. That’s a total of 19 people. Relatively small to my mom’s side of the family (third generation alone, including me, totaling a whopping 27 people — approximately, I was never geeky enough to really do the counting), but hey, it’s a crowd already.
One thing that my grandpa keeps saying over and over again:
I must be the most blessed human being alive. I get to see all of my children and grandchildren together, all in one place. It is a blessing not every man gets, and for that I truly thank the Lord.
This is indeed a blessing. The wedding itself is a blessing, and a splendid one. But the family gathering — it’s just not something we get to do every now and then.
Here’s the most complete picture Tante Dani sent me. Unfortunately, Icis, Ika’s twin sister, is missing. She had to go to another wedding before we got a chance to take a picture with her…
My entire extended family from my dad's side at Ika's wedding
